Things have been pretty eventful for Mike and me since little Ashlyn Jane entered the world. I feel like today has been the first day that I have had time to sit down and blog about everything that we have gone through. So here goes…
*Birth Story*
Friday night of January 8th: Mike and I went out to dinner with a bunch of couples from our ward. As soon as we left the house to meet up with everyone I started having mild contractions about 6 minutes part. By the time we were done with dinner they were about 4 minutes apart. They weren’t incredibly painful, just uncomfortable so I didn’t make a big deal about it. On the way home Mike talked me into calling my doctor to see what I should do. She told me to go ahead and check into the hospital so they could see how dilated I was. Two days before at my weekly check-up I was dilated at 2cm and about 75% effaced. I felt silly going to the hospital with such mild contractions, but at the same time I had never gone into labor before, and wasn’t sure what to expect. So we drove straight to the hospital from dinner, without our hospital bags, and checked into the birthing center. The nurse put us in what they call a “preliminary room” where they monitored my progress for two hours. My contractions were still at a consistent 4-6 minutes apart but they were not causing me to dilate nor were they intensifying. So the nurse told us to go home but come back if my water broke or my contractions became more painful.
January 9th 12:30 a.m.: As soon as I went to bed I started having painful back labor. I tossed and turned trying to get some sleep but ended up getting about 1 hour of sleep. I also felt as though I had a fever. I was freezing all night, which was rare because I have been so dang hot throughout my pregnancy, and then I woke up in the morning all sweaty.
9:45 a.m.: Mike convinced me to call my doctor again and explain to her how I was feeling. I was a little reluctant to call because I didn’t want to get turned away a second time at the hospital. However, when I described how I was feeling to her she told me to go to the hospital. So I jumped in the shower, got ready, grabbed our bags and left for the hospital.
10:05 a.m.: As soon as the automatic doors opened to the birthing center at the hospital, I froze up and started to cry. For some reason I knew this was it. I knew that there was no turning back and the time had finally come for me to give birth. For the first time I was scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of the pain. Scared of my life changing forever. I cried in Mike’s arms as he tried to comfort me and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I was a little surprised at myself for losing it in public. Normally I am pretty good at keeping my emotions to myself. But then again I had never been a hospital patient and had never given birth so I didn’t know what to expect. When I finally gained my composure we checked into the hospital for the second time and the again put me in a preliminary room.
11:00 a.m.: My doctor arrived at the hospital and told me that they were going to keep me and I was going to have the baby today. I was so excited! The time had finally come!
1:30 p.m.: I had tolerated my contraction long enough and got my epidural. What a gift from God! I couldn’t believe how fast the pain went away and I was about to enjoy the rest of the day. Not only that, the epidural helped me dilate faster so I didn’t have to get pitocin.
3:00 p.m.: My doctor came in to break my water and upon doing so discovered there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. Everything started to make sense as to why I had a fever, and why I hadn’t felt tons of movement the past two days. My baby was sick and we needed to get her out!
5:30 p.m.: The epidural started to wear off on my right side, which made for some very intense contractions. The nurse would not let me press the button that released more epidural into my system because she wanted me to feel when I needed to push. I have to admit….I did press the button one more time because I was in so much pain that I threw up. Needless to say, my disobedience was in vain and I still felt the contractions. Ugh!
7:00 p.m.: Go time. My doctor came in and told me that I had to push her out in 30 minutes or I would have to have a c-section. I wasn’t too excited about the thought of being cut open so I felt determined to get her out fast. I pushed for about 20 minutes and……
7:34 p.m.: Ashlyn Jane McCabe entered the world at 6 lbs. 10 oz. 20 1/2 inches long. Before I had her my doctor told me that since she had pooped my uterus they were not going to hand her to me, and she would need medical attention immediately. She also said that often times meconium babies come out covered in their own poop so they need to be cleaned off and evaluated before placed into their mother’s arms. Our first look at Ashlyn was not at all what the doctors had prepared me for. She came out looking and sounding perfectly normal. Her sweet little cry brought tears of joy to our eyes. There are no words to describe the first time you see and hear your baby. It’s the closest to heaven I have ever been. Such a powerful, surreal experience.
11:00 p.m.: I was tired and exhausted from not sleeping for the past two nights and giving birth, so Mike and I felt it was a good idea for Ashlyn to spend the night in the nursery. It was a good thing we did because the nurse came into our room at 4 a.m. to tell us that Ashlyn had stopped breathing and turned blue twice during the night and had to be admitted into the NICU. I was so upset. Apparently her first few cries upon being born she aspirated meconium into her lungs.
January 10th 4:00 a.m.: Mike and I headed down to the NICU to see our baby hooked up to about 5 cords. At that point I don’t remember crying because I think I was in a little bit of shock. In a blur, the nurses explained to us what was going on and what her treatment would be. I honestly do not remember a lot about that night.
January 10th: I couldn’t believe how busy I was in the hospital. Between being hooked up to an IV every two hours, walking back and forth to the NICU, meeting with the lactation specialists who gave me instructions to pump every 2-3 hours, trying to find time to eat, rest, recover, talk with family and friends, and cope with the fact that I had a sick baby….it was the most physically and emotionally exhausting day of my life. I was feeling stretched pretty thin. My mind was in a million places at once and every minute I wasn’t with Ashlyn I felt guilty.
January 11th: I was feeling a little better after a good night’s sleep so I decided that I would spend the whole day holding, feeding, and comforting Ashlyn. When I got down to the NICU I was shocked to see that the IV that had previously been in her foot was now in the top of her head. I lost it. I cried uncontrollably as the nurse insisted that her head was the best place for the IV because it wouldn’t irritate her. I called Mike and told him to get down to the NICU. When he saw her he was relieved because the by the way I sounded on the phone…he expected the worst. After I calmed down a little bit I put her in my arms and cuddled with her the rest of the day. I just wanted to bond with her and for her to know I was her mommy.
The rest of the week: Since it is flu and RSV season the NICU only allows parents to visit babies. I felt bad for all of our family who only got to see her the night she was born. For the remainder of the week Mike and I were at the NICU from 10 a.m.-12:30 a.m. every day until we could bring her home. We fed her, changed her diaper, checked her temperature, bathed her, and basically tried to do everything that didn’t require a nurse so we could bond with our baby. Going home at night was hard, especially the first night. I experienced the biggest separation anxiety I have ever felt. The only thing that made me feel better was reminding myself that things could always be worse. I saw families with babies in the NICU that still had Christmas stockings hanging above their little hospital beds. It broke my heart. I saw tiny little preemie babies that had been there for months and still had a ways to go. Being in the NICU all day for eight days made me think a lot about the gift of life and how all life is truly in God’s hands. It made me realize that I had to have faith in the Lord’s ability to heal her. It made me thankful for modern medicine and how grateful I am that Ashlyn was able to get treatment right away. If I had had her 50 years ago she probably would have died. The NICU truly became a place of peace and solace for us.
Now: We love having Ashlyn in our home. She is such a sweet little angel. Becoming parents has no doubt stretched us more than we ever thought, but we love our new life as a little family. She is our greatest joy and we are so lucky to be her parents.
We appreciate so much all the love and support from our dear friends and family during this time in our lives. We have felt your prayers. We love you.
Mike and Leslie
